Last week my music distributor, CD Baby, paid me the life changing sum of £43.77 ($59.37), but before I even had the chance to go out and blow it all in a wild orgy of spending they’ve just sent me another £28.62 ($39.62).

I can now relax in the certain knowledge that thanks to my music I can retire to a life of riches and happiness.

To celebrate I’m going to buy you all a drink, because clearly money is now no object to me anymore. Who says that rock and roll doesn’t pay?

So, if you are worried that you might not be able to make a living from playing your music I’m here to tell you that so long as your monthly bills don’t exceed £72.39 you can live like a king.